STFU Contractions

Everyone’s predicting delivery dates and labor times for Nugget. So far no one, not even the doctors, have hit it. To be fair I’m not due until Monday, but I’m still not holding out hope that I’ll have the baby without being induced.

I AM fairly certain that Nugget has finally engaged. Last night Mama and I went out to dinner and I had an appetizer-sized bowl of macaroni and cheese, followed by a flat iron steak, shrimp, asparagus and fingerling potatoes, smothered in a delicious red curry sauce. By the end of the bowl of macaroni and cheese, I should have been overfull and ready to puke my guts up, but even after the entrée I was still fine. Laying down after a big meal has been the bane of my existence for months, but even after I got home and flopped on the soft living room carpet (to be near Hubs, who’s relegated to the couch after his foot surgery), my gorge didn’t rise and I needed no antacids. The only explanation I can think of to explain this phenomenon is that Nugget engaged. That, and there’s a ton of pressure on my pelvis, so I absolutely cannot walk straight at this point; I can only waddle.

Tuesday I had regular, strong (but not painful) contractions about every 8-10 minutes, all day. By bedtime they had tapered off and gone away. Mum was disappointed, as was I, but it just wasn’t to be. I told her that if my water broke or if I started having regular “STFU contractions” STFU stands for "Shut the F*** Up, if you're not familiar with the slang. These contractions, in other words, are contractions so strong that I have to stop talking and just breathe. If they happened every five minutes or so, lasting a minute or longer – then she should jump in the car and come up. Otherwise, I thought it best for her and Dad to sit tight.

Today I decided to take a long walk to get lunch and wound up coming back and sitting down just in time for a good, long STFU contraction. I’m still having strong ones, but I’m hesitant to start timing anything until it’s at least another STFU. I don’t want to get Mum’s or my hopes up only to find out that it’s nothing. I did tell her that I had one, but that I’m going to wait and see if they persist.

I was thinking earlier that it might be neat if I could say that I gave birth to two late babies, one early baby and one genuinely punctual munchkin. But again, I’m not holding out hope.