Mostly Over It

Well ladies and gentlemen, Preggosaurus 2: Return of the Baby Bump has thrown us its first red herring. This pregnancy's initial hCG levels started out strong at 70. Second test: 114. Not a great sign, but not bad, either. The levels are supposed to double every couple of days. Third test: 179. Fourth Test: 229. Fifth test: 234. The IVF clinic has deemed this a non-viable pregnancy and instructed me to discontinue my medications. What this means is that we're going to allow this embryo to miscarry. Hopefully it will do so on its own, and I won't have to have a D&C (dilation and curettage) which I can tell you is not a pleasant experience. Then we'll start afresh with the same I.F. in a couple of months.

There's still a slight possibility that this could be an ectopic pregnancy (when the embryo implants in the fallopian tubes instead of the uterus - it's a dangerous event and if not treated promptly, can be fatal), but it's unlikely, sayeth the IVF Doctor, because my hCG levels are starting to plateau.

I'll be honest; I was sky-high at the idea of pulling off a successful pregnancy on the first try, twice in a row. But discouragement began settling in after the second blood test. I felt like I had somehow done something wrong; that I was a failure because it didn't thrive. I have come to the conclusion that this is just a lot ridiculous. If there are external factors involved here, it's got nothing to do with anything I've done. I have been diligent with my medications; eaten a relatively balanced diet; I don't smoke; I don't drink when we're in the process of preparing for pregnancy, and even when we're not, I rarely imbibe much.

I think what this boils down to is stress. My work environment is frustrating to the extreme. I'm in the middle of trying to move, which involves packing; arranging for Pixie Princess to go to a new school; notifying all of the necessary organizations of the new address; doing the actual moving and cleaning and repairing the former residence once the move is complete. On top of this, my mother and stepfather moved out this past weekend, and needed help doing so.

Once this embryo is gone and I've had my menses, we can start over, and I think by then I'll be in a better place to stay relaxed and take it easy. I was able to keep things pretty mellow with Wiggle Worm and she wound up being a mellow baby. I think if this one had gone to term it would most likely have been a poor, nervous wreck of a child.

So I'm over the discouragement, for the most part. I'll have my moments from time to time, of course, but dwelling on things that I can't change isn't going to change them, so I'll work on me and go from there.

The Uber-Ute Rides Again!

Got a call from the IVF nurse at The IVF Clinic a little over an hour ago, and...

That's right, ladies and gentlemen; nothing beats the Uber-Ute! I'm pregnant with surro-baby #2!

My hCG levels were at 70 as of this morning. What the doctors like to see at this stage of the game are hCG levels between 50-100, so this is good news. Granted, last time they were at 89 at this time, but we're also talking about a frozen cycle, so this is still encouraging. Now to think of a new nickname, cause "Wiggle Worm #2" just doesn't cut it.

I.F. called a little while ago to see if I had heard the good news yet. As any good IVF clinic should, they notified the real parent first. This pleases me greatly. I told him that yes, I had in fact gotten a voicemail from the nurse, instructing me to continue on my meds for now, and advising me where my levels were. Based on my conversation with I.F., they should double between now and Friday, when I go back up to the little hospital to get stuck again. I.F. was so excited; he said he didn't really think that things would take on the first try. He underestimated the power of the Uber-Ute. Haha! (This is me posing impressively.)

Hound Dog

I smell Pepsi. I'm not kidding. I smell Pepsi. I heard someone open a soda can, here at work, and suddenly smelled Pepsi. Now, this is not something I normally notice. I smell Pepsi when I open a can and take a drink of it, but otherwise, not so much. Out of curiosity, I called out, "Who's got Pepsi?" A surprised voice two cubicles away from me responded, "How did you know it was Pepsi?!"

Xaotl and my stepmother (Dumplin') have both stated that it's probably a safe bet at this point, that at least one embryo has implanted. I started getting queasy and woozy at my grandmother's house on Saturday and suspected it may have been something like implantation, but I wasn't entirely sure. This is a good indicator as well, but I'm not going to get all bouncy and excited till I find out for sure on the 10th.

On an unrelated note: We signed the lease and put the deposit down on our new apartment yesterday! and the landlord said that if we want to (with notification from him each time, of course), we can start moving little things in here and there before August 1, to make life easier. I think we're going to have a good relationship with our new landlord, yes I do.